Book Summary of " Dusk,Night,Dawn"

Books Summary:

Dusk, Night, Dawn

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What’s in it for me? Learn how to start believing in and loving yourself. 

When the world outside seems scarier every day and the news gets grimmer by the minute how do you hold yourself together and summon the strength to carry on? And how do you cope with past traumas that bubble up to the surface at the worst of times? 

The easiest and most obvious place to start is with yourself accepting your shortcomings and embracing your imperfect nature before turning outward. 

In these blinks you’ll learn how to make peace with the memories and character defects that haunt you. And once you’re able to love yourself you’ll find you can bring that love out into the world. Because love is what protects us all. 

In these blinks you’ll learn 

where to turn when you’re lacking faith; 

the power of focusing your attention; and 

the beauty of the dark. 

You can start to recover your faith in life by waking up to the present. 

“May you live in interesting times.” It’s a saying you might ha

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ve heard. One that’s probably a little too apt for the present moment! With a new crisis leaping off the front page each day – or lighting up your phone with alerts – it’s never been easier to slip into catastrophe mode. 

In the middle of all this turmoil how do you go on believing that there’s a purpose to life? Or stay hopeful for your children and grandchildren’s futures? 

For the author Anne Lamott hope blooms in the present. She recalls a fight with her husband that took place not long after they got married – strangely it was one that happened mostly in her head. 

The key message here is: You can start to recover your faith in life by waking up to the present. 

You see the row was really just a back and forth with herself since all her husband was doing was not answering her texts. She was caught up in the noise. But after a phone call with a trusted friend she came back to the moment and remembered that above all her husband is her best friend and that sharing life isn’t always

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a bed of roses. She was happily married and in love – and this realization quieted the turmoil that had been wrecking her day. 

It was a similar feeling to one she’d experienced decades earlier while getting sober from alcohol addiction. Although her body recovered quickly she found that she still felt disconnected and unmoored from her self or what she calls “the purest expression” of her being: her soul. 

For a time she’d tarnished her soul with perfectionism self-hatred and egotism – the holy trinity of toxicity. But while the soul can be bruised and battered it remains ever the optimist always ready to fill with hope. 

And so it did. She began to clean up the wreckage of her past by taking tiny actions like paying her bills and doing the dishes. These tasks helped her to stay firmly grounded in the moment and she slowly started to love herself. 

If you’re facing a similar struggle it can help to check that your soul still works by tuning into your curiosity. If you feel goodness or

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 presence know that that’s your soul tapping you on the shoulder willing you to pay attention. Start with what’s in front of you – a bowl of cherries perhaps or a beautiful morning – and savor each moment. 

Real intimacy means seeing and being seen. 

Do you sometimes feel that you’re completely flawed? You’re not alone. Many of us look at ourselves and see aging bodies sagging and falling apart. 

Anne Lamott describes a moment like this where she holds out her old sunburned arms and almost wishes her husband would recoil from them. Instead he brushes her off with a kind comment and she’s left stunned that he can love her so much. 

This is what it’s like to be seen. And it works both ways. 

Writing about her husband Lamott describes how when she truly sees him she looks past his imperfections and finds something perfect. Seeing is more than looking because it goes to the core of a person including the parts they don’t want you to notice. This is what intimacy is.  

The key message h

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ere is: Real intimacy means seeing and being seen. 

Unfortunately “being seen” so clearly is often the problem. 

For instance Lamott’s husband tends to be a bit of a know-it-all. Once he explained to her that the lilies of the field mentioned in the Bible were actually crown anemones – a literal interpretation which ruined her more poetic vision. She noticed this about her husband early on in their marriage and when she brought it up he cried. Being a know-it-all had ruined his past relationships – and it scared him to be seen so clearly. 

In fact the fear of being seen probably stems from our families. Maybe you come from a dysfunctional home where mom hovered over you or was neglectful. Maybe dad wasn’t around much or often came home drunk. It’s no surprise you learned that it’s better to hang back not to be seen. That it’s better not to see. 

Intimacy is scary because it’s loaded with the potential for loss and rejection. True intimacy goes beyond the good and the humble parts of ou

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rselves past the narcissism and envy down deep to the things we don’t want anyone to know about: like sometimes wanting others to fail or how entitled we can be or that we use people. 

The catch is the people who love you are going to see this stuff anyway. They’re going to see you at your worst or worse yet at your most boring procrastinating on the couch with a bag of chips. But this intimacy is a great gift because by showing who you truly are and letting yourself be loved you’re learning how to be lovable. That is to love yourself. 

By changing where you focus your attention you begin to change your heart. 

During her yearly physical Anne Lamott’s doctor mentioned that melanomas can sometimes grow beneath a toenail. Unfortunately her toes were painted and the doctor couldn’t check. Worse yet her father had died of melanoma. Naturally she convinced herself she was going to die. 

Later sitting in a parking lot she thought about how she spends most of her time living in low-level

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fear and obsessing over stupid things. She was like this as a kid too afraid of men and bad grades and even the carousel at the zoo. 

When the hell was she ever going to get over it? 

Then she remembered what her friend Father Terry used to say: “We don’t get over much here.” 

The key message is: By changing where you focus your attention you begin to change your heart. 

Father Terry believed that instead of trying to get over things you should lean into goodness and strive for a spiritual awakening. To put it bluntly Father Terry meant “Try to be less of an asshole.” 

If you can lean into the good – if you can try to be less of an asshole from the bottom of your heart – you create a shift in focus that can transform you at your core. 

Because being good simply to avoid hell isn’t enough. You have to mean it. Only in this way will a true perspective shift happen and when it does life will seem so much more beautiful. You’ll start to see new things. Eventually working your way to the ad

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vanced practice of forgiving yourself. 

We all carry shame and guilt with us – shame over what we think is our defective nature – even if we’ve had years of therapy. But most of that shame isn’t us. It was put there when we were kids by adults throwing out reckless comments. 

It can get tiresome carrying around all those old hurts. But if you focus your attention on doing something good – like being more understanding more tolerant and more patient – then forgiveness comes naturally. And for each little bit of forgiveness you’ll find you get a little bit of peace which in turn will help you to become more aware of the beauty around you. 

No matter how bad things get you always have enough to keep going. 

Like many people perhaps you feel that life is just a little too much these days. On top of your daily struggles there’s a looming climate crisis constant threats to democracy around the world and to top it all off a global pandemic. 

Whether you’ve spent a lifetime working toward

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a goal that’s still just out of reach or you’re living in a state of perpetual slow-motion tragedy it seems like we’ve all caught a case of existential exhaustion. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. Some people like one of Anne Lamott’s friends – whose 22-year-old son has incurable brain cancer – find ways to stay hopeful even in the worst circumstances. 

The key message here is: No matter how bad things get you always have enough to keep going. 

When Lamott asked her friend how she keeps going the friend replied that there’s something inside that won’t let her give up because no matter how hard life is she loves it. This friend gets by on “lunch-money faith” – just enough to keep going. 

But too often it can seem that this “keep going” feeling puts us only one step ahead of the bad thing. With hunched shoulders and full of fear we stuff it down and keep on until the unimaginably bad thing catches up with us: we get cancer or have a heart attack. And only then do we slow down and pay att

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ention. 

Take the story of Elijah for example who found himself seemingly at the end of his rope lying in the desert praying for death. But instead of dying he slept. And was woken by an angel who fed him and gave him water. Now full of strength Elijah made his way to Mount Sinai where he encountered God. And God asked him “Why are you here?” 

Lamott suggests that you too can find your faith to keep going by eating a little something nice and having a small communion with God – but keep the prayers simple. Ask God if he’s there and listen for the whisper of his presence. It’s a conscious decision to learn to listen. 

No matter whether you’re on a busy street stuck in traffic or scaling a mountain keep your ears open for that whisper. In doing so Lamott says you’ll transcend whatever noise is in your head and become one with the universe. 

Darkness is soothing because it helps you to see the light. 

While it might feel like we’re living in pretty dark times darkness doesn’t last for

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ever. And actually Anne Lamott wants you to know that time spent with the dark can be a good thing. 

A few years ago when her county lost power in the California wildfires she spent four nights in darkness – no light no power no Wi-Fi. And so she lit candles which threw beautiful shadows on her walls and helped her see the beauty of contrast – that both light and dark are precious. 

Later at a church service with no microphones and no heating she marveled at how beautiful the gathering was. The endless stream of attention-grabbing notifications had stopped. And she and her fellow congregants were able to tap into the stream of life. 

The key message here is: Darkness is soothing because it helps you to see the light. 

Light may be associated with epiphany and spiritual wisdom but darkness also has many beautiful truths to share. Just think of a clear night full of stars or the northern lights or the beauty of a long-awaited dawn. And since you know that the darkness won’t last forever

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you can choose to use it as a respite and slip into the comfort of shadow. 

During the power outage Lamott went for a walk and saw an uprooted redwood tree leaving a massive dirt hole in the ground. It stopped her in her tracks. In the architecture of the tree’s root system she saw all of life’s beautiful complexity – and that it’s everywhere just beneath the surface. She understood that we’re all connected and rooted to the earth. We’re held sustained and nourished by it. 

In the same way you are held and nourished by the imperfect love of all those dear to you. And you give it back to them in turn. During hard times when it’s dark people’s best selves come out stupid resentments are put aside and friendship and service are offered instead. Because that’s the beauty of dark times – they reveal what still works perfectly: candles cake friendship and love. Love brings out the beauty in the world around us – in our homes our neighborhoods our communities. 

As Anne Lamott says finally lov

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e is a mirror that reflects back to us our own beauty. 

Final summary 

You may have gone through hard times and perhaps the road ahead doesn’t look any easier. But the secret to getting through is to constantly remind yourself of the beauty you have in your life – your family friends and your health. That may sound trite but it’s true – these things keep you going. 

For Anne Lamott learning to cultivate gratitude love and an open heart were the first steps she took when recovering from alcoholism. Over time they also helped her tune in to the abundance that she has in her life helping her overcome her fears as she walked a path to happiness and recovery. Perhaps they’ll guide you as well. 

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